“Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open.” Natalie Goldberg
This struck me and I’m not sure how I’m going to go about talking about this quote. Instantly, my mind goes to the rise of the #MeToo movement and how many of those victims felt they could only tell the pages of their diaries. And, even that was horrible and traumatizing as they relived those experiences and fears and emotions, trying to make sense of what happened to them. Feeling that they were all alone and unsupported.
Or, the survivors of the Holocaust who write memoirs about their experiences. They went through unimaginable horrors but, for whatever reason, they were determined to get their story out and tell the world the truth of what happened.
But, in terms of writing that others will eventually read, how many authors pour their deepest fears into their stories and characters? This may seem mild but I’ve taken a few qualities from, say, a horrible teacher and magnified it so see what my characters would do. Based a character on someone who is supposed to be trustworthy and reliable and have them completely betray the main cast. Family disputes, real or imagined- do they shatter the family or do they manage to pull together?
These situations in your stories can be emotional and heartbreaking. And, maybe not meant for the eyes of the public.
One of the most emotional things I ever wrote was a short story about my grandmother, for a school assignment. Being able to see her for a single day and realizing our fantasy of traveling to Hawaii together. But, in the end, it turned out to be a dream and I felt the pain of losing her all over again. I wrote the final paragraphs while sobbing. It had been 3 years since my grandmother had passed and those feelings came back as if it had only been 3 hours. I considered publishing it but I’m not so sure now. It might be a bit too personal to share. But, in a way, writing that peace was also a form of healing. In my imagination, I was able to see her again. She was young looking and healthy. And, she was at peace.
I’m not really sure how much more I can say on this. Except that writing about fears and horrible things, at least for me, can be a very therapeutic experience. Depending on what those experiences are.