So, yesterday was my 34th birthday. EEK! As the day grew closer, I started coming up with all of the things I’ve learned in my life and maybe I can pass on a few pieces of wisdom. I thought long and hard and came up with a list of 34 things I’ve learned about life as I turned 34 years of age.
- A good pair of tennis shoes can save your body– Working in retail meant not making a lot of money. So, I would just buy $20, cheapy Payless shoes. And, they’re okay for some things. I have a few pairs of dress shoes which I love. But, to stand on your feet 6+ hours per day, I’ll just say it doesn’t help my chronic pain issues. So, a few weeks before my wedding, I went to Famous Footwear and splurged on a pair of memory foam Sketchers. They were $80 but they will probably last me several years. And, I can walk in them, stand in them, they are fantastic! I was able to walk at least 5 miles per day when we went to Toronto.
- Planners actually help organize your life– I LOVE my Happy Planner. And, yeah, with all the pretty stickers, it’s fun to decorate. But, I need to write things down and have it on my desk to check off all of the things throughout the day. It is possible to have a pretty and functional planner.
- You will find love when you least expect it– And, I mean lasting love. I had a 3 year relationship before I met Joe. I thought I loved him and it turned out we weren’t meant to be. We had different values and attitudes on life. And, I didn’t want another relationship after that. I spent several years focusing on taking care of me. I had officially received my arthritis diagnosis. And, I was trying to heal from my first major heartbreak. Later that year, we changed parishes and I met Joe. We chatted a little and then started teaching Sunday School together. I had no idea he had started to like me! 5 years later, we’re married and planning our family and our future! If you had told me back in 2009 this would happen, I would have laughed. I had stopped looking. I told myself I was content being a single forever girl if that was what was in the cards for me. But, now, I am so happy and excited for what the future holds.
- Journaling helps you sleep at night and get going in the morning– I’ve been embracing daily journaling and it has helped me so much! I start every day with my Morning Pages- 3 pages of stream of thought writing to organize my thoughts, wake up my brain, and help prepare for the day. And, I end the day journaling. Whether that is documenting the day, doing a manifestation or self-care prompt, or venting. And, it helps me clear my mind so I can slow down, get into a restful mode, and fall asleep.
- Gratitude should be a priority- celebrate the little things– I have a sidebar in the weekly pages of my planner where I list one thing I’m thankful for every day. I also try to practice gratitude in my journals. Celebrating the little, beautiful moments in your life helps bring out the joy in your life and get through the tough moments.
- It’s okay to disconnect– I’ve been trying to make it a goal every day to disconnect after dinner. Once Joe comes home, we have dinner and that’s couple time. No phones, no social media, put the laptop away. We don’t need to know everything that’s going on everywhere at every moment. I do keep my phone in the room in case my parents or my sis call me but it’s on the other end of the room so I’m not tempted to grab it and play a game or scroll Instagram.
- Self Care Feeds The Soul– You have to take care of yourself! This can be so hard to do when we’re trying to juggle our obligations in life. I have church obligations, I help my family, I’m working on my books and other projects. Sometimes, I forget little things to take care of myself. I have a list of things in my planner to get ideas to just step back and take care of me. These include something as simple as reading a book or going for a run/walk. Give yourself a manicure, prayer, go on a picnic, light scented candles, listening to music, having a piece of really good chocolate. Disconnecting as I mentioned before is part of that self care and a few things I’ve yet to list are also a part of this.
- Keep a notebook on hand at all times– You never know when you get an idea you do not want to forget. I’m a writer. I get ideas at the worst times sometimes! So, I always keep a notebook on hand so when I get an idea for a book or a video or a blog post, I can write it down. I also keep notes on my phone. I utilize the voice-to-text feature to a notepad, usually when I’m driving or out on a walk and the muse strikes.
- Don’t Feed The Trolls– There will always be haters. No matter what you do, you will not please everyone. Someone is going to find something to nitpick. Someone is going to bring you down when you’re successful because they’re jealous. Ignore them. Don’t validate them. That is their fuel. That’s just going to encourage them to continue. And, no matter how much you argue, no matter how valid your points are, you will not change their minds. So, don’t even give them the time of day.
- Have a friend, or group of friends, to be productive with– I try to get together with my friend, Lisa, at least once a week. We either go to each others’ homes or a coffee shop, or even a park and we take the time focusing on our respective projects. While working, we catch up on life, exchange ideas, and we get a lot of work done.
- Nature is the best remedy for a bad day– One thing I love about where I live is that the park is practically in my backyard. And, walking paths are within a short driving distance. I can fall asleep to the night sounds of the woods and it is the most peaceful sound. Being outside is a great way to calm down when life is getting rough. When I’m having a frustrating day, I’ll walk for about a half hour or I’ll take a book or journal and sit on the back patio. Being outside helps calm me down and clear my mind so I can get back to life.
- Don’t focus on nit-picking other people– Basically, don’t be a troll. How other people live their lives does not effect you in any way. It doesn’t matter their faith, race, sexual orientation. It’s not going to change your life so back off.
- Occasionally purge your friend/follower list of those that bring you down– I do a closet purge every 6 months when I change my closet to seasonal clothes. I also go through my social media and purge those lists as well. I get rid of people who have nothing positive to say, who post inappropriate content, or who don’t post at all. And, it’s a very freeing feeling. Then, I can fill my life with people who share my interests and passions and I can better interact with.
- Never stop learning– I’m always looking up classes and videos, reading, any way I can absorb information. Whether it’s on the craft of writing, business, lifestyle, technology. Anything! You’re never too old to learn something new. It keeps your mind functioning at a high level.
- Make sure you get quality sleep– I never realized how my body was suffering until I got my sleep apnea diagnosis. It’s scary the consequences of not getting enough oxygen while sleeping. I could sleep for 12+ hours and feel like I only got 2. It was awful. Being able to breathe and getting good, deep sleep has helped me feel more energized. I’ve been losing weight. I’m back on an exercise routine. It’s fantastic. I’m not saying you have to go for a sleep test to see if you need a CPap machine. Unless your doctor suggests it. Then yes, go! But, maybe you need a new mattress. Maybe there’s something in your room irritating you. Try an oil diffuser with lavender to help relax you. Actually go to bed early. Here’s an idea. If you have to get up at 5 to start your day, don’t go to bed at 1. Go to bed around 10:00 at the latest. You still get 7 hours and it’ll be an improvement to 4.
- There is no deadline for when things “should” happen in your life– The still held misconception that you have to be married with babies by the time you’re in your mid-20s is ridiculous. Most people are still figuring out their lives, concentrating on careers. Maybe they want to travel before settling down. Or not settle down at all. One of my really good friends “had a plan” for her life. Graduate high school, find a man, pop out 4 or 5 kids. Well, that’s not what happened. A string of bad relationships, a serious illness all kind of threw a wrench into those plans. She’s 36 and just had her first baby with her fiancé. I’m 34 and just got married in August of last year. When I turned 31, my friend asked me if I was mad Joe hadn’t proposed to me yet. I said no. I’m happy I made it to 31. Just after my 30th birthday, I had a serious illness I could have died from. I was thankful for everything I had and just let things fall in their place when they were meant to. Don’t feel discouraged if you’re at a certain age and you feel certain things should have occurred already. And, don’t push those things with people who are not right. I’m so thankful I never married my ex boyfriend. We’d probably have divorced within a couple years. I was better off waiting.
- The crockpot is your best friend in the kitchen– I love my crockpot! I use it at least once a week. It’s so easy when you have a busy life to just toss a bunch of ingredients in, set a timer, and let it go. I have a huge 7 quart one so I can make a meal and we have leftovers for a whole week! It’s great. Makes meal planning so much easier.
- Gorilla Glue Saves Shoes– I have a pair of silver shoes that I love. I wore them for my sister’s wedding, my wedding, and several special occasions. The bottom started coming undone and I didn’t want to throw them away. They still were pretty and they were not cheap. So, Joe went and got some Gorilla Glue, fixed them up, and now they’re good as new and can last at least another 2 years.
- WEAR SUNSCREEN– Sunburns are not fun. Skin cancer is a thing. Take care of your body. Getting a nice golden tan is great. Looking like a cooked lobster is painful!
- Air conditioning is amazing– I never appreciated AC until it died in my car 4 years ago. It’s agonizing and you really have to get creative with your windows to get relief on a long drive.
- Heated blankets are life in the winter– Especially when someone in your household keeps the thermostat at 55 degrees. It gets cold!! So, we all got heated blankets one year for Christmas. I would “preheat” my bed about 20 minutes before I planned to sleep and my covers would be nice and cozy.
- Never send that angry email/Facebook post/Tweet– Take a few minutes or hours, or a day, cool down, then delete it. You will regret hitting send.
- Take pictures at everything– I always regret going somewhere and not taking pictures to remember the event. Especially now with my niece and nephews growing like weeds, I want to capture those moments while they’re still adorable little kids because it’s not going to last.
- You cannot keep secrets from your parents. They will find out– Better just to tell them right away before someone else does. Nothing I dreaded more than my parents getting a phone call from a teacher about my grades or something that was going on in school. I found the punishment was slightly more lenient if I was just honest with them right away and explained the situation. Example: in 7th grade, I hit a kid with my purse. He had been messing with me all day and I was fed up. He pushed me to the ground and I retaliated. Had the assistant principal told my dad first, she would have just said I was in a fight and receiving punishment. But, since he knew it was self-defense, (something I told the assistant principal but she didn’t believe me despite never having had a physical fight in my life) he talked to her about it and got more of the story. He understood that I was going to be punished according to school policy but I wasn’t at home. Had the situation been reversed and I smacked the boy unprovoked, yeah, I would have been punished.
- It’s okay to cry– Crying is healing. I cry a lot. I’m a naturally emotional person. If I’m angry, I cry. If I’m happy or touched, I start to cry. Yesterday, we were watching a story on ESPN about a baseball player whose mother has ALS and he was traded to be closer to her and take care of her. Even Joe got choked up at the end.
- You will find out who your true friends are when things get hard– If something happens, losing a job, death in the family, illness, you will find out who your real friends are by who is by your side during those hardships as well as times of joy.
- Legos are cool and there is no age limit– This may seem funny but it’s true. Especially given the many Lego sets in my house. We even had one as a topper for our wedding cake! Joe collects the “Architecture series.” We have Ecto 1 and the Tardis. I want a Hogwarts set. They’re fun to put together and have on display.
- Family time is the best time– I love getting together with my family. It’s never dull and usually hilarious. Your family is crazy and they love you. Appreciate the time you have with them.
- Schedule and time block your day if you want to really be productive– I need to give myself set amounts of time to do my tasks. Otherwise I’ll get distracted or I’ll be so focused on one thing I won’t get anything else accomplished. I’ll also be late for things because I didn’t have an end time.
- Don’t put too many bananas in your smoothies– I won’t go into the graphics of it but too many bananas give me a stomach ache and I’m miserable the rest of the day. A few slices mixed with other things will suffice.
- Have a way to document memories, not just digitally– Your phone dies, your computer crashes or gets a virus. And then you lose all of your information. Get an album or a scrapbook. Print off your pictures and save them in these things so you can look back on them for years to come.
- BACK UP YOUR WORK– In multiple places! On your computer, a flashdrive, in the Cloud, multiple devices. Print it out. Anything so when one thing fails, you still have it available.
- Don’t take anything for granted– I think about this a lot with my illness. I took for granted being able to be so active and pain free back in the day. I could go for miles long walks with my sister in the woods. I could dance the night away at weddings. Now, I try to do those things and it could trigger a flare of pain and I’m flat on my back for the next 3 days. When I had my blood clot 4 years ago and was hospitalized, I never appreciated home cooking so much as when I had to eat hospital food for 3 days. With no salt. Blegh! This goes back to tip 5 and gratitude. No matter how simple it is. Just getting up in the morning, say thanks for it because you never know what could happen.
- Life is short, enjoy every second. This is also similar. Life is precious. Life is short. Our time on Earth is fleeting and we must make the most of every minute we’re given.
So, that’s my list of 34 things I’ve learned in 34 years of life. I hope you enjoyed this and that you’ll consider following my blog. Give it a like and let me know what life lessons you’ve learned. Thanks a lot!
Carey